One of our delusions is that we, as spouses and parents, in a secret state of resentment, "run the show." This form of self-deception can only increase our frustrations, as well as the frustrations of our families. It makes the home a battleground in which our family members who are truly wrong in their behaviors, have the best chance of winning every encounter in ways that are unhealthy. We are often outwitted by lightening changes of mood, false promises, challenges to our statements and manipulations. This is the best reason for detaching our minds and our emotions from the minute-by-minute conflict, and seeking a peaceful, orderly way of life within ourselves. If we stop fighting every incident that happens, absence of an active adversary is bound to bring about wholesome changes in the home environment and everyone in it.
Today's Reminder
I will not try to outwit or outmaneuver anyone else, but will proceed quietly to live my life so I will have less reason for self-reproach. I will withdraw my mind from what others do, and think of what I am doing. I will not "react" to challenging words and actions.
"When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger."
(Epictetus)
[Taken and fashioned from "One Day At A Time In Al-Anon"
for general family relationships by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI]
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