*November 19th* (with video)

There is something both adults and children do at times. Some people know they do it, some don't. It brings pain when it is done to others. The resulting sadness can at times be very great.

It is when we rob people of believing in themselves.

Perhaps we do it to makes us feel stronger. Sometimes it is trying to get something. It can be for a toy, to avoid an embarrassment, or, to give up parenting or get a divorce?

As a counseling therapist, I know not everything is always how it first appears. Sometimes one person wants a divorce, but rather than admit it, they act in a way so the other person leaves them. The way he or she does this, is by robbing the other of their fundamental right of self-confidence, self-respect, and self-belief. Then, that person makes it look like it is the other persons fault and what they rightly deserve.

The game is played in many ways and for many reasons. Like, expecting too much from your child, because deep down you know there were times "you" failed in life when you should have succeeded. Or when your parents are old, you limit them in believing in themselves, trying for their dreams, because you are resentful and blame them for how you think they treated you when you were a child. Tricks like this can be done, while at the same time convincing the world you're your parents greatest Rescuer when you're not.

Yes, the world is full of toxic behaviors by people claiming to do good, when instead, they perpetrate harm. One way of doing this is by robbing people of believing in themselves, even in the simple things that define human integrity. After this done, it is easy to manipulate and control to get what that person want by stealth and deception.

In the "Parent Team Intervention Program" we hold kids accountable for poor behavior, but the process of doing so is always in the loving hunt for each child's dignity, conscience and personal respect.

Now, for the video of today, please click on:
"IF NOBODY BELIEVED IN YOU" by Joe Nichols.

[Writing by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI /
Supervisor: Peter Mosgofian, MA, MFT ]