No man can ever be everything that is a mother. Yet, at the same time, no matter how hard we try, no woman can be everything that is a "father".Today we have a video of Chet Atkins playing and singing the song "I Still Can't Say Goodbye" (In 1968). Someone once said one reason it is important that children outlive their parents, is so that when their parents leave them in death, the children can more completely realize how much the parents meant to them.. Maybe, in a way, it is a natural stage we go through.
In a special way, this is true especially of fathers. As we said, no mother can be a father, no matter how hard she tries. A father need not say much, his power may only be in a glance. And there's something about his presence that speaks volumes.
It can almost be in doing anything. Fishing, cooking pancakes, watching a ball game, talking about the weather or repairing something. It just in doing things, and that he's there.
Some of us don't have fathers. A few have just lost one. No matter our age, when it happens, we feel something deep inside is greatly lost. Something that no other person, it seems, can ever quite replace. At least not in the same way and not in this life.
Your father could have been a good man or a bad man. It almost doesn't matter. In a way. What I mean is, in either case, one wonders deep in the soul, "What did my dad think of me?"
For some reason God allows this to have great power in our lives. No matter what.
In the Bible, as well as many cultures throughout the world, it has been, and remains to this day, a custom for sons and daughters to seek a "blessing" from the patriarch of the family. Upon leaving to be married, returning from war, having a first child and so on, ritualistically being blessed or "confirmed" is a moment sought immediately before leaving to ones home.
Strong and loving dads, each in their own way, having done all to stand when the going was tough, "blessing" a young man or woman with words like, "You know I wouldn't tell you this if it were not true. - No matter what anyone tells you, just remember that I love you and that I'm proud of the great job you're doing ." ... Wow, if that young adult has respect or honor for their father, even enough to fit in a thimble, he or she would walk away with confidence to conquer the world!
Finally, is your father gone? ... Well, did he go to a good place? Then in my personal opinion, he knows more about you now than he ever did. In a very real way, your dad is with you at this very moment, and that, because of the mercy, grace and power of God. My point is this. You can still show them both (I mean your dad and God), that because of them, and their watchful presence each day, you will become and be all they ever wished you to be.
[Written by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI /
Supervisor Peter Mosgofian, MA, MFT ]
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