*October 31st*

Parents in the Parent Team Intervention Program eventually find that behavior starts to change in their children the longer they participate in the program.. This brings to the dad, mom or guardian an interesting challenge. When children have been dominant, angry, rude even illegal in their actions in the past, and when change starts happen in the process of intervention, those very children, at some point, start to appear weak, - even vulnerable.

This is a time when it is necessary that the parent in the PTI program restrain from an instinct to race to "Rescue" the child from the experience of weakness. Experiencing vulnerability, the child realizing that the world does not operate on the terms that child has previously insisted, is a necessary stage on the path of that child's development, healing and growth. An event of a parent "swooping-in-to-save-the-child-from-experiencing-his-or-her-own-consequences," might seem innocent in the beginning, but robs the young one of the much awaited activity of learning.

Remember mom, remember dad, this is what you've wanted for a long time. That your child realize that the world in which you operate as his or her mother or father, is a world where things do not always go the way we want!

Be the "Director of your kid's intervention." Follow the coaching of the therapist. Rest and trust in the team dynamic of parents who have been there for you, and know how you feel because they've been there too. Trust God. Pray with confidence. Recall "it takes a system to change a system." Your struggle is not so much against your child, than it is "a struggle against a system that supports your child in his or her defiance." When you are a part of a "team", being a part of that team changes everything. It is then when every problem is in fact not a problem, but actually an opportunity.

[Written by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI.
... (Supervisor: Peter Mosgofian, MA, MFT)]