"Each day as you wake up, make the decision to strive to do what's right.
Approach your life as you would your game....
...when you make a mistake, learn from it, correct it, and get ready for the next point. Life moves too fast to sulk and dwell on the past.
...when you're down, fight harder to get back on top. Life is full of hardships. Fight hard against those feelings of despair. ...when you're doing everything right and still can't win, be patient. No matter how good we are or how hard we struggle to make the right decisions, life often makes us wait.
...when you are on top of your game, relax and enjoy it. Life is fully appreciated when we survive adversity and can relax in the sunlight of success.
Each sunrise brings a new opportunity. No matter how bad the day before was, today is brand new. When you wake up, seek the strength and courage to do the right thing."
As a mom or dad, a wife or husband, do you ever feel weak, having doubt that you can be as strong as you must be at times? Certainly you do. We "all" do. Only some try to cover their vulnerabilities, their moments of poor confidence, pretending such experience does not exist.
But we, people who feel weak sometimes, are the very people God uses. - Uses to be the most loving and strong parents, spouses and teachers, at times when it really counts.
Don't be surprised if you have doubt at times. Only when you feel doubt, know, even in feeling it, that doubt will fly away and you will be strong again.
In this world there are so many experts. - "Experts" on how you should live your life, ... and how you should parent your children. But what rings true to what you feel inside you?
Don't fear doubt when it comes. Look back at your life, past events when you survived when you thought you would not. But you did, ... rather remarkably I might add.
In parenting sometimes we must be loving, sometimes strong, holding to principles that are proven truth.
Understand it is not all up to you, but do what you can one day at a time, in quiet and certain confidence.
This video from the Parent Digest library has proven valuable to many parents. As a result, please review it today, and read the writing afterwards. (This video will also be provided for the selected child/teen reading on this date.)
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Mom and dad, recall if it is not a fact that you have been manipulated and controlled in the past in the precise manner here explained by Counselor Connie Podesta. Possibly by others, but especially likely by children of all ages who want their own way at all costs.
Connie says, "Difficult people are great actors." ... "Difficult people have an act." ... "Knowing this, we can have control of who will treat us this way, and who will not."
Let me add, when a group of loving adults band together to hold angry youth accountable, we will succeed practically 100% of the time. This is what we do in the "Parent Team Intervention Program." As a team, we see that a boy or girl s rage or pretended victimhood, is only an act. In time (and not too long), each kid realizes that together, we are smart enough to see through a game when it is played.
Stop allowing yourself to be dominated and confused, either aggressively or passively. Remember, "you" are the parent. Hold that sacred position in love, strength and insight. Your rebellious young one will be better for it.
There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.
We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely. An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different.
Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that it contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.
A daughter comes home late, way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listens carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.
We say I love you in many ways-with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.
The problem is listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love. The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry.
We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize.
Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place after all. *******
Wishing to encourage her young son's progress on the piano, a mother took her boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually explored his way through a door marked "NO ADMITTANCE."
When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that the child was missing.
Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage. In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit. Keep Playing." Then leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in the bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child and he added a running obbligato.
Together, the old master and the young novice transformed a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. The audience was mesmerized. The young boy we see and hear playing the piano now on the video provided, could well have been the mother's son some time after that grand experience.
Remember, providence is also involved in the raising of your children. There is God, and there are others to support you. Think of this often. As you do so, be strong, moment by moment, and perform your task of parenting with hope, faith, and great diligence.
Watch video, then read today's writing. This video will also be in the "Teen Daily Reading". (Perhaps not appropriate for younger children.)
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This video remarkably depicts the complicated effects of "enmeshment" in relationships. Seems today we cannot seem to bond in friendship or intimate love, without "losing our identities in the other". However, this only cripples us as individuals, and limits us from being what we can for others, ourselves and God.
We parents can easily become enmeshed in those around us, as our children also become enmeshed in systems of the world that support them in defiance against we parents.
Here are two outlines which briefly define enmeshment from a "family" perspective.
