I have only one person's guilt to carry. My own. If my spouse or child blames me for difficulties they are going through, I will not accept that blame, but I will not defend myself either, for that would only start fruitless battle. I know my spouse or child needs to blame me because of a painful need to unload remorse on someone else. My remembering this should generate only compassion for them in me, not resentment and anger."Someone else may respond: "I wish I could believe that! When my family member gets through telling me off, I feel as though the devil were sitting on my back with fifty pound lead weight in each pocket!"
Today's Reminder
There is no need for me to accept blame for another person's irrational actions. I will deal with my own shortcomings. If I do this honestly, the change in me will be reflected in every person whose life touches mine.
"Let me weigh my misdeeds on an honest scale and make restitution as well as I can. But let not the scale be unbalanced by the weight of what others have done."
[Taken and fashioned from "One Day At A Time In Al-Anon"
for general family relationships by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI]
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