My Polish wife tells the story of a man who was an officer in that country's military before the second world war. He, along with many hundreds of other officers, were commissioned on a peace keeping mission to Russia to deliberate with that country on the impending threat of Nazi Germany in Eastern Europe. Before the man left on his journey, his little boy asked him to please take with him a much cherished teddy-bear. The reason was because the officer's son wished to be remembered while his father was away on important business. Appreciating the gesture, the father, took with him "one leg" of his son's teddy-bear. The father said to his child, "When I return, I will be sure to have with me the leg of your precious teddy-bear so I can repair it. ... By this we will know that we have once again united as a loving family."
The sad part of this story is that the father never returned. It turned out that the invitation for talks with the Russian government was a setup. Upon the arrival of the Polish officers to that country, the many hundreds were promptly lined up and shot.
Of course the little boy grew to be a man, all the time missing his father very much. Long years of investigations went on for proof of what did happen. Finally one day the mass graves of these large numbers of men were discovered. Excavation began, with meticulous examination of what remains belonged to whom.
In the case of this father, the news went out across the land that not only was evidence revealed of the final resting place of this son's father, but that also in the precise location was discovered the carefully preserved "leg of the child's teddy-bear". It is likely that upon his execution, the father grasped fondly the tangible, sacred connection with his son.
As fathers and mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers, the roller-coaster ride that is both precious and sometimes difficult in connection with our children, is a valuable part of our lives. Some say it is more. That it is the "very reason" for our existence.
As a parent or guardian, are you sometimes frustrated, confused, even hurt? Because of the actions of your young ones, are you occasionally disappointed or lonely?
Let me tell you to please not give up. Use the challenges to only make you stronger in your resolve to be the best father or mother you can be. Rise above it all like clouds peering down upon the earth. In eternity you will look back at all the trials and will not regret it.
[Written by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI /
Supervisor: Peter Mosgofian, MA, MFT ]
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